How To Handle A Friend Breakup

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When it’s a relationship break up, you can find millions of posts from millions of bloggers telling you what to do and how to feel better and get over it. But we don’t give friendship breakups the same attention, and that is a shame because friendship breakups are sometimes the hardest breakups of all. A friend breakup needs to be done in it’s own way

A little backstory: I wen through a pretty bad friend breakup, where I had to let go of a friendship because it was hurting me mentally and emotionally. And nowhere could I find anything that spoke on friendship, because we don’t really think about friendships consciously ending. Here is my best way to help you if it comes up in your life, because it totally could.

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Understand Why You’re Breaking Up

With any decision really, you should know what and why you are doing it. With a friend breakup, it can be hard to really analyze how hurt you are or negative your situation is, but you need to do it to understand the situation. Losing someone you are close with is hard, and even harder when it’s an active choice, so take the time to understand your choice (or their’s if they are the one’s breaking it).

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Be Upset

Be hurt. Feel it. Don’t deny your emotions, because that serves you no purpose. You just lost a friendship, and that is sad and heartbreaking. The sooner you feel the sooner you can move on.

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Have A Different Friend Group To Go To

So, when I ended a friendship, pretty much all of my friends were attached to that person, and, for me, the only way I could really heal was to cut them off as well, at least for a while. It would have been a much easier experience if I had a group of friends that was entirely separate from that person. Having that other group gives you a place to go and can help normalize life after the fact and give support. Plus, it is always good to have a diverse amount of friend circles regardless of the being an issue or not.

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Unpack But Don’t Live There

You’re probably thinking “what does this even mean?” Well, i tell you to unpack your feelings and gain an understanding, but you shouldn’t live in that state of thought and sadness. Unpack your feelings and thoughts, and then let them go and move on. Understand everything enough to give you closure. And don’t expect to go back in time and be friends again, it’s not going to happen. As James Bay sang, “We gotta let it go. Just let it be. Why don’t you be you and I’ll be me.”

How do you handle tough friend situations? Let me know with a comment.

 

 

 

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. oamcgarvey says:

    I’ve never seen a post like this, and I don’t know why. I think pretty much everyone has someone that they have basically broken up with. Thank you for the tips to ease the time.

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  2. Simply Save says:

    Friend breakups are tough…maybe even more tough than relationship breakups! When there’s so much history, it can be tough to let go to someone who is toxic!

    Like

  3. Krysten says:

    I’ve been on the other side of the breakup – the one being broken up with. And I’d love to add that if you’re breaking up with a friend you should be kind. i was hurt so badly by an entire group of friends who basically ganged up on me and dumped me. It was HORRIBLE. I’d say if you’re going to break up with someone, for whatever reason, keep in mind that you were once friends and that the person you’re breaking up with is human. Do it with a little grace and care.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think that friend break ups are often harder than relationships, I’ve had quite a few that were so brutal but I truly believe they happened for a reason.

    La Belle Sirene 

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  5. I haven’t had to “break up” with any friends… just distance myself and take some time away. I find that when I am going through a rough patch with friends, I need to be open and honest. Telling them how I am feeling and finding a solution usually works wonders.

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  6. Gail says:

    I’ve recently had to break up with a group of friends… I guess time separated us and forced us to go our separate ways. At first it was difficult, since I didn’t have other good friends, but then I realized that maybe it was for the best. Thanks for writing this.

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  7. Janella says:

    This I don’t have an issue with. I don’t get too attached because Ihave a hard time trusting ppl due to past experiences.

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  8. When I first became chronically ill, my friends were supportive. But after I couldn’t always go out all the time, the friendships waned. I knew that they were becoming toxic in my life after making snarky remarks about my illnesses being “fake.”

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