Let’s Talk About The Quarter Life Crisis

qlc

For those who do not know, the quarter life crisis is when twenty somethings (usual after graduating college or turning 25) feel lost in life, whether it is in career, friendships, relationships, or all. It is the feeling that there is so much you could be doing, but you have no idea how or are too fearful of going for it so you fall into an emotional rut. And right now, I feel like I’m entering my quarter life crisis.

As I am entering my final semesters of college, the deep feeling of “I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-going-to-do” has settled deep into my soul. It is mainly the fact that I have big ideas of what I want to do, but have no funds or resources to accomplish any of them. The jump between college student to online content creator seems gigantic right now, and it honestly hurts my heart to think about post-college life.

25 Signs You're Having A Quarter-Life Crisis

Writing this post right now makes me anxious, and I have a feeling that many people feel the same way I do. The thing is, we aren’t given the tools to handle the post-school reality of life. For 16+ years I have been in school and it is the only thing I really know how to do. It’s a comfort zone, and soon I will be forced out of that zone and into the unknown.

The current feeling of I am not where I want to be is totally overwhelming and disheartening. I am stuck in a position of relative comfort, and I clearly know where I want to get to, but I feel like I am going to fall short, which is not motivational at all. My ambition and drive is not overcoming the quarter life crisis.

I do, however, have the advantage of somewhat isolating my feelings into something understandable, while others have a mix of issues. The engagement-baby crisis is an abundant, meaning that seeing people in your life having children and getting engaged triggers a crisis because you are not to that point in your life.

This is all a deeply societal issue to me, because a college degree seems like a one-way ticket to success, but the fact is that many of us twenty somethings struggle with actually being successful post grad. Society also tells us that (especially women) need to get engaged and have children before hitting 30, which is an absolutely terrifying concept to me. Societal expectations are causing us to have a quarter life crisis, and it’s really frustrating.

I have no clear idea of where I wanted this post to go, but let me know if you are feeling the same way I am so we can help each other.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. I completely understand your anxiety.
    I just graduated my MA and am now in the middle of figuring out my next move. It’s rather difficult even with previous work experience and an education, finding the right way for oneself can be rather daunting. The luxury of endless possibilities, I guess 🙂

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  2. Rhonda says:

    Don’t feel like you have to arrive right now. It may take a few years. When I was in your spots (after BA and after Masters), I took the first job offered and did as well as I could, then moved on to the next job and the next. It often takes a few jobs to land the one you really want. But in the meantime you are building skills, learning about yourself, and just as important, paying the bills-even if barely.

    Now about getting married and having babies. I did not marry until age 27. I had decided not to get married to be miserable. I could do that alone. But I learned to be happy and very content, resourceful, and resilient while single. So that when I got married, I could be all those things with another person and still be myself. Dating is another way of learning about oneself in relationship to many other people, if we reflect on what happens, what we want and how we want to make it happen.

    My husband and I did not have biological children, but after 10 years of marriage were foster parents to teens for another 10 years. Only then did I realize that had we had babies, we would be divorced, because I could not have dealt with husband, work, and kids. God was looking out for me and our marriage. I believe it is much better to role model a great committed marriage to the world, than create a divided home and children with split loyalties.

    If you want to see one example of how someone has navigated this crisis, see my book, At Home in the World: Travel Stories of Growing Up and Growing Away on my website: https://findingourselvesathomeintheworld.wordpress.com/about/book-at-home-in-the-world/

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    1. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate it 🙂

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  3. I very clearly remember going through the quarterlife crisis myself. In fact, I’m not totally sure I ever came out of it. Mine might just go straight into midlife. But I can promise you that things get better. Once you start that first “real job” and start being 100% responsible for yourself, it really does get better. And sometimes it’s even fun.

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  4. Ahhhh, I totally remember this feeling. I sang John Mayer’s “No Such Thing” a lot! 😉

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