I had the unfortunate displeasure of seeing an article about how women who choose to not have children are inherently wrong and the only accomplishment that women are worth making is bearing children. I am calling bullshit.
At this time in my life, I absolutely do not want a child. Granted, I am merely a 20-year-old college student who can barely make my own meals, let alone take care of another human being from birth. I am fully aware that I am completely not qualified for taking care of a child and I have no desire to do as such.
What bothered me the most about this atrocious scrap of scribblings was that it disregards the fact that other people can be happy without children and still be selfless. She makes the huge argument that it’s all about self preservation and selfish life choices. But, women who don’t have their own kids can still do incredibly selfless things. What about the incredible people who adopt? Sure, they didn’t bear the children themselves, but they are giving them a home nonetheless. That sounds pretty damn selfless to me.
For some people, having children is not a happy idea. Maybe they live in an environment that would be incredibly dangerous for a child, so they choose to spare a child from a difficult situation. Also, unwanted children can live in unloving homes. I find a huge double standard in this whole situation. First, you criticize women for not having children, claiming she is separating herself from her femininity by not doing so. But then, if a child is born in an unwanted or dangerous home, you complain that “well they shouldn’t have had kids if they couldn’t take care of them.” The hypocrisy of it all puts a sour taste in my mouth.
Also, what does this say about women who physically cannot have children? True, they are not consciously choosing to not have children, but does that mean they are less feminine and haven’t accomplished a woman’s greatest gift? To me, this article indirectly attacks these women. How can someone prove to this author that they are still a true woman and are still feminine and worthy if she cannot produce offspring? At first sight, you can not.
Oh, and the other frustrating part is that, what if a young girl read this article? You’re teaching her that her feminine worth and biggest accomplishment she can make is having a child. WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You are telling this young girl that her goals should be to get pregnant and reproduce to an already very populated world, regardless of if it’s a good or personal decision. Why can’t we teach this young girl on the other side of the screen that she can accomplish many great things in life, and it’s her CHOICE on what she chooses to accomplish.
Now let me be clear, I am not anti-child at all. Maybe someday when I am stable and married, I might have them. I just strongly believe that it is a CHOICE that is personal, private, and should not be scrutinized by outside opinions. It’s not my place to tell ANYONE whether or not they should or should not have a child, or do anything for that matter. I’m not being apathetic towards others, I just understand that it’s their life to live, not mine. If you want to have a child, or multiple, then do that! If you don’t, then don’t. It’s never my place, or anyone else’s for that matter, to tell you, dear stranger on the other side of the screen, what to do.
Thank you, dear reader, for letting me rant.