What Is A Bad Feminist

bad feminist

Frankly, I don’t believe there should be a thing called a bad feminist.A bad feminist is a woman who identifies as a feminist who also enjoys things that are not considered feminist, such as being a housewife, caring about their appearance, and many other things. So, from my understanding, this means that there is such thing as a good feminist, and we can segregate between the two. I find this a little absurd. To me, feminism is the ability for everyone and anyone to CHOOSE what they want and have no discrimination, inability or judgement. So, it doesn’t matter if the person wants to be a stay-at-home parent or a CEO, it’s their right to choose without being good or bad. They are just a feminist.

Now, Bustle posted an article entitled “6 Things That Definitely Don’t Make You A Bad Feminist” discusses bad feminists and what people assume makes them that way. Although I clearly don’t agree with the idea of bad feminists, these concepts and ideas can help clarify the concept, so I will discuss them further below.

Changing Your Last Name When You Get Married

I can understand why people believe that taking your husbands last name means you’re giving up a piece of your identity, which feminists are not fans of. But, if it is an active decision on the part of the woman, than why complain or judge. I plan on taking the last name of my future husband, which I subconsciously chose to do as a preteen doodling Mrs. Crushes Last Name on notebooks. My last name doesn’t change my beliefs and opinions and make me “bad”.

Letting A Man Pay For You

Chivalry isn’t dead, at least from my experience. I’ve had men CHOOSE to pay for me, and moments where I have CHOSEN to pay for myself. I find it a kind gesture when a man offers to pay, I’m not going to cut them down and refuse their kindness. Again, it’s all about choices.

Caring About Your Looks

Appearance matters. Should people judge you and hate you for caring or not caring about your appearance? Of course not. Again, it is a choice. If investing time and money into your appearance makes you confident and comfortable and happy, then do that. If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. Wearing makeup, dresses and heels doesn’t make you bad, just like wearing a suit and no makeup doesn’t make you good either.

Listening To Rap (Or Any Music That Objectifies Women)

Let’s not close this to just rap, a great deal of music genres objectify women and can be considered anti-feminist. For me, my music is fairly private and I keep it to myself. I don’t make other people listen to it, so other people shouldn’t do the same to me. Honestly, most people don’t even listen to the lyrics. They hear a beat they can dance to, and that’s the end of that. Feminists are smart enough to pull out of the lyrics and understand that the words that are sung aren’t true in every situation, and artists are, like every other form of performance art, trying to get exposure and money. This is probably one of the more complicated portions of the bad feminist debate, but as the rest of these ideas, it’s all about choice.

Enjoying Domestic Chores

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and more are enjoyed by many people. They find it relaxing, cathartic even. And some people just like clean homes and clothes and good meals, which is something we should all enjoy to be frank. Plus, why should anyone else care what you do in your own home? They shouldn’t.

Disagreeing With Something A Feminist Says

This is a tricky concept. You would think that that by disagreeing with another feminist, you are not feminist. But, disagreement can lead to discussion, interpretation and conversation, which are all good and powerful things. Some feminists theories are out there, such as “heterosexual sex is rape”. As the Bustle article eloquently states, “you’re allowed to disagree with that. It doesn’t diminish your feminism, it just means that you have different opinions on some of the details, and that’s just fine.”

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Keri. N says:

    Great post 🙂 I think these days, this new wave of feminism comes down to standing up for the legitimacy of women’s strength regardless of feminine qualities. It’s about no longer having shame and weakness associated with feminine qualities, which benefits men as well! If we think about men’s roles in family for instance, a father should feel equally present in the home and lives of his children, if that’s what he chooses. And slightly more feminine boys shouldn’t be forced to “man up” and feel ashamed for who they are. Well at least those are my thoughts on modern feminism; simply not to devalue femininity but to find a balance between the worth of both femininity and masculinity, and allowing people to be who they are freely.

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  2. Well I would consider myself more feminist than not, but still I envy (sort of!) anyone who genuinely likes housework – it is neverending after all!

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  3. nikkifrankhamilton says:

    Isn’t it funny…we can’t win! I heard on the radio this week that feminists don’t think that men should open the door for us or offer us their coat if we are cold. That these actions are belittling us as women. I think that is going too far, as well as the points that you mentioned above. Kindness is simply that. Kindness. I open doors for men and women alike, if I am there first. And I would offer my coat to anyone that needs it. Isn’t it silly?

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    1. It is silly. People just want to find ways to exaggerate feminism into a negative light

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  4. Rachel G says:

    I do all of these things, and I consider myself a feminist. However–as far as music goes, I’m not terribly music-inclined, and listen more for the lyrics than for the sound of the song, and I do tend to have a pretty strong dislike of songs that objectify women for that reason–though I can imagine that more musically-inclined people care more about the sound of the song–my mind simply doesn’t work that way, I’m wired for words, not tunes.

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  5. lderringer says:

    This is a really interesting post. I love all of these things (minus listening to rap…it’s just not my thing), and because of that usually wouldn’t consider myself a feminist. Maybe I’m a little more of feminist than I thought haha.

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  6. lilypup says:

    From Community Pool: You know the image of you in the dress? I love that. What about taking those colors and putting a touch of those near the top of your blog somewhere? I think it might look sharp. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. As a feminist you want equality for all right? Have the right to choose how you want to live your life. Well if you put strict rules on what a feminist is (which the article did) then you take away the meaning I feel like. I think you did a great job voicing your opinion against this article.

    I like your version better. 😉 Thanks for writing, great stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Feminism is simply the belief that women are equal to men. Period. Many like to attach a million other things to the term and make assumptions that feminism also means X or Y, but it has a very, very simple definition.

    I’ll disagree about the statement that feminists believe that changing one’s name is giving up one’s identity. SOME may perceive that, but it is not feminism (belief in equality) that drives that, that is simply an opinion. As a feminist who grew up with a terrible last name that got me teased for decades, I was thrilled to change my name to my husband’s when we got married. He “gave up” his home country to move to the US from Australia for me. I think he made the bigger sacrifice.

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