Frankly, I don’t believe there should be a thing called a bad feminist.A bad feminist is a woman who identifies as a feminist who also enjoys things that are not considered feminist, such as being a housewife, caring about their appearance, and many other things. So, from my understanding, this means that there is such thing as a good feminist, and we can segregate between the two. I find this a little absurd. To me, feminism is the ability for everyone and anyone to CHOOSE what they want and have no discrimination, inability or judgement. So, it doesn’t matter if the person wants to be a stay-at-home parent or a CEO, it’s their right to choose without being good or bad. They are just a feminist.
Now, Bustle posted an article entitled “6 Things That Definitely Don’t Make You A Bad Feminist” discusses bad feminists and what people assume makes them that way. Although I clearly don’t agree with the idea of bad feminists, these concepts and ideas can help clarify the concept, so I will discuss them further below.
Changing Your Last Name When You Get Married
I can understand why people believe that taking your husbands last name means you’re giving up a piece of your identity, which feminists are not fans of. But, if it is an active decision on the part of the woman, than why complain or judge. I plan on taking the last name of my future husband, which I subconsciously chose to do as a preteen doodling Mrs. Crushes Last Name on notebooks. My last name doesn’t change my beliefs and opinions and make me “bad”.
Letting A Man Pay For You
Chivalry isn’t dead, at least from my experience. I’ve had men CHOOSE to pay for me, and moments where I have CHOSEN to pay for myself. I find it a kind gesture when a man offers to pay, I’m not going to cut them down and refuse their kindness. Again, it’s all about choices.
Caring About Your Looks
Appearance matters. Should people judge you and hate you for caring or not caring about your appearance? Of course not. Again, it is a choice. If investing time and money into your appearance makes you confident and comfortable and happy, then do that. If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. Wearing makeup, dresses and heels doesn’t make you bad, just like wearing a suit and no makeup doesn’t make you good either.
Listening To Rap (Or Any Music That Objectifies Women)
Let’s not close this to just rap, a great deal of music genres objectify women and can be considered anti-feminist. For me, my music is fairly private and I keep it to myself. I don’t make other people listen to it, so other people shouldn’t do the same to me. Honestly, most people don’t even listen to the lyrics. They hear a beat they can dance to, and that’s the end of that. Feminists are smart enough to pull out of the lyrics and understand that the words that are sung aren’t true in every situation, and artists are, like every other form of performance art, trying to get exposure and money. This is probably one of the more complicated portions of the bad feminist debate, but as the rest of these ideas, it’s all about choice.
Enjoying Domestic Chores
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and more are enjoyed by many people. They find it relaxing, cathartic even. And some people just like clean homes and clothes and good meals, which is something we should all enjoy to be frank. Plus, why should anyone else care what you do in your own home? They shouldn’t.
Disagreeing With Something A Feminist Says
This is a tricky concept. You would think that that by disagreeing with another feminist, you are not feminist. But, disagreement can lead to discussion, interpretation and conversation, which are all good and powerful things. Some feminists theories are out there, such as “heterosexual sex is rape”. As the Bustle article eloquently states, “you’re allowed to disagree with that. It doesn’t diminish your feminism, it just means that you have different opinions on some of the details, and that’s just fine.”